welcome to elaney!

Sad!  Can you believe that some of our favorite couples are calling it quits?!  Hope there wasn’t a lot of “Scream”ing.  Hope things can remain “Friend”ly.  We hate to say this, but we aren’t super surprised that X-tina and Jordan Bratman are donzo.  She was just way too fiiine for him.  But…here’s to hoping there “Ain’t no otha man.”  Are you so sad about these two splits?  Are you sad for Coco and Max?  Or did you see it coming from a mile away with the unlikely pairs?

Wow, a historic day indeed.  We can’t thank Dr. Love enough for all the pride he had to swallow to guest blog on the pink friendly elaney.  While we continue to process all the interesting things we learned yesterday, we leave you with this final thought from the great emum:

“elaney, that Dr. Love has great advice!  I TOLD you women today are more aggressive.  You need to continue asking him questions.”  -emum

One that note, here’s to an open invitation for Dr. Love to guest blog!

Dear Readers,

We have a special surprise for you.  This coming Thursday, October 7th, we will be handing over the reigns of elaney.  And this time, we’re not handing it over to some low rent intern, we’re handing it over to Dr. Love.  Ladies, we’ve spent almost three years together, and we think in this time, we’ve garnered a pretty clear understanding of what your interests are.  Our random pontificating about life:  interest level low.  Our random pontificating about fashion:  Interest level stronger.  Our random pontificating about relationships:  Ding Ding Ding!

So, it’s time we brought in the expert.  We can’t tell you much about him now, but he’s here to answer your questions on what to say / what to wear / where to find him / what he’s thinking.  So let’s start compiling those questions now!  Show Dr. Love what he’s working with.

Love,

elaney

Male Reader requested this post, and since we try to give our Male Readers what they want (because we appreciate their participation…), here we go!

Scenario:  Male Reader (who wishes to remain anonymous) was recently dumped, and he feels that the reason she gave (not ready for a relationships) was different than reality (thought he was weird).

We think we ALL know by now that the ultimate reason for whenever things don’t work out is that he (or she) is just not that into you.  But let’s take it a step further, if you’re not that into someone, why? Any what did you say to explain it?

Many of you know that we are O-B-S-E-S-S-E-D with the Bert Show.  Well, yesterday they did a bit on their favorite outfit for women, and guess what…it looks the Umbro lovin’ elaney male reader was right (let’s call him the UmBRO).  According to a study the Bert Show found, 67% of men think women in gym clothes is the s-e-x-i-e-s-t style.  While this is G-R-E-A-T for elaney, this is pretty much anti everything emum has ever said…And here’s the thing:  we see ourselves in workout clothes, and we just don’t think we look cute.  Can someone please explain?

From YourTango:

1. The sexiest style: the gym look. 67 percent of guys polled said there’s nothing sexier than athletic clothes and minimal makeup. We won’t be trading our skinny jeans for baggy sweats anytime soon, but we’ll admit, it’s nice to hear that men like the ultra-relaxed look.

2. A close second: sexy secretary style. Mad Men-fashion devotees, you’re on to something. The guys polled confessed to going gaga for a no-nonsense, getting-down-to-business style: professional clothing, heels and natural makeup.

3. He hates high fashion. Only 15 percent of men said they dig a heavily-styled look, and almost two-thirds said they’re not into it. The reason they gave? Simple: it looks stupid. But another survey by My Celebrity Fashion put jeggings, Uggs and neon clothing at the top of the list of fashion trends men hate, so we’re not entirely convinced they’re grasping the concept of high fashion.

4. Less is not always more. Much to our surprise, not all guys love our sexy night-out style. In fact, about half of men think we overdress (is this because you have to wait for us while we get ready, guys?) And a fourth of guys claim they think the “night out” look is too revealing. We blame Gaga—we haven’t worn pants since “Poker Face.”

5. He loves you without makeup: The top-ranking looks (gym style and the professional look) both go easy on the makeup (even third place, the girly-girl look, required “natural hair and makeup”), and a full third of guys polled said they prefer you without any makeup at all, explaining that they thought it looked fake. Two-thirds of guys don’t mind a swipe of mascara here and there, but made it clear that heavy makeup looks trashy. So go ahead and bat your natural lashes at him!

We’ve seen these lists before, and they are usually really obvious things like “huge burlap sacks” and “large oversized sorority t-shirts that have chocolate milk stains and are 12 years old.”   However, we recently came across a list from MSN that threw us some curve balls.  Some of them we get (Harem pants, Uggs, Jumpsuits), but we were surprised by the following:

3. Headbands
He Says: “Why would anyone choose to actively look like Bjorn Borg?”
elaney Says: Hmm, get it, but on the right girl, these can be cute (unlike pigtails).

6. Leggings
He Says: “I am perplexed as to why women think it’s cool to dress like Cyndi Lauper. Do girls really want to have fun? I think they would have a lot more if they removed their leggings.”
elaney Says:  “He Says” going for the really obvious sexual humor – hilarious, as usual.

8. Oversized Sunglasses
He Says: “You look like a human-size praying mantis walking towards me.”
elaney Says: Surely this doesn’t refer to Tom Fords.

10. Fringed Detailing
He Says: “Now I am just thinking about Russell Crowe again, gah.”
elaney Says: We didn’t even knew men knew how to verbalize “Fringe detailing,” let alone not like it.

What do you think? Men, do you agree?  Women, are you surprised?