welcome to elaney!

Official Sunday Bar email 1/29/12:

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Sunday Barflies,

At Sunday Bar, we pride ourselves on the range of our beverages almost as much as we pride ourselves on the fact  they all contain alcohol.   Variety is a key facet of our enterprise.  We shun the masculine/feminine labels that too often comes with beverage selection, and we encourage our patrons to enjoy the drink on its own terms.  In a sense, we’re kind of like the Gloria Steinem of the cocktail world.  

But this week’s drink is definitely girly.  There’s no way around it.  It’s so girly that I had to get super-girly Barfly elaney to introduce it with an extra-girly announcement.  As evidence of how girly it is, please note that elaney has actually achieved the enduring feminist goal of reducing the number of words in the term “Super Bowl.”  Guys of Sunday Bar, I encourage you to go to the Elaney website and launch your complaints.  Following her frivolous announcement about “champagne-induced giggling,” I have some important administrative notes that I could not in good conscience delegate to a woman.

Without further ado, ELANEY:

Let’s get real, Barmaids.

We love our purses and we lust for expensive shoes, but as every elaney girl knows, sometimes a champagne flute is a girl’s best accessory.  So, tell us ladies.  Is it just us, or has the male dominated culture of Sunday bar gotten you down?  Do you feel like you have to drink Old Fashioneds and wear an ascot to be accepted?  Are you tired of your Tory Burch boots going unnoticed?  Have you had it with your Kate Spade tops smelling of campfire?!?!  Well suffer silently no more.  It’s ladies night at Sunday Bar, so grab your favorite cocktail ring and get ready to roll out the pink carpet.  

Come join the team from elaney for Champagne Cocktails (and champagne induced giggling).  We’ll provide the spirits; you provide your inner girlie girlie.  Come ready to discuss The Bachelor, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills finale, and scoop on Heidi Klum and Seal’s divorce.  Conversations on the Superbowl need not apply, but any feather boa is a friend of ours.  See ya on Sunday…in pink and pearls.  

xoxo,

elaney  

Important Administrative Notes:

- Event kicks off at 7:30 at 1857 Volberg St. NW 30318.  Beer, wine, snacks, donations, desserts, etc. are welcome but not required.  HOWEVER, guys should think extra hard about bringing beer this week, or they will only have champagne to wash down their shame.

- If you were left off last week’s email, I apologize.  I’m reconstructing my email list after my computer was stolen.  Hopefully everyone is back.

- Bring anyone – all are invited!

See you at the Bar!

Tommy

“I don’t want a lot for Christmas.  There is just one thing I need…”

The holidays can be a lonely time.  And let’s face it, some single women probably get Christmas cards and start to think about the things in their lives they don’t have.  But not our Reader Melby.  Nope, Reader Melby doesn’t get cards of weddings and babies and lab puppies and feel sorry for herself.  Instead, she thinks about the best thing that happened to her in 2011, and she shares that with the world.**  That’s right Melissa.  You may not have a relationship, but you are never alone when you have a bad a pair of Tory Burch boots.*

And now we have major boot envy!!  These tall, dark, and handsome boots are basically the embodiment (embootiment?) of our dream man!  Dear Santa, will you please bring elaney a pair so we can stomp around Atlanta with Reader Melby??

*Reader Melby (who arguably gets called out on elaney more than anyone else) graciously gave us permission to write this post with the caveat that we must explain that the Christmas card is a complete joke only to be shared with a few of her close girl friends (and now the Internet).  

**The runner up idea for her Christmas card was a picture of her with a man with his face cutout and the words “Your face here in 2012.”  (Sorry Melby.  We had to.)

Reader Melby: “You are the Brett Farve of the blogosphere.”

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Reader JLAL:  ”Wait, so elaney is back?!”
elaney:  ”um, kinda testing the waters.”
Reader JLAL:  ”Sort of a slow start?”
elaney:  ”More like a celebrity trying to make a comeback after a stint in rehab.”

The Avett Brothers played a free concert after the Braves game yesterday.  elaney’s last concert experience at Turner Field was Dave Matthews the day after high school graduation, and this one was on my 28th birthday.

Things that were different between the two experiences:

• I did not start crying due to some drama between girls related to a boy.
• I did not have on a halter top.
• I did drink beer (2).
• I did not talk about fat content in stadium food.
• I uploaded a “gametime” picture to facebook.
• My sunglasses are not from Target

Things that were not different:

• The main reason I like the band is because it’s a cool one to like at the time.
• My skirt was still too stort.
• We listened to mmmbob on the drive there.
• I said “like” between every word.
• I have the most wonderful friends and have had all sorts of wonderful friends all through my life.  What a blessing!

Dear Readers,

Thank you for your patience while we were on our sabbatical to find our internet personality.  Many of you know that the sabbatical was provoked by a fear that we were putting a little too much out there into cyberspace (a few to many instances of “ooh nice to meet you…I think I’ve read your blog.  Do you ever get embarrassed…what do guys think about it…??”).  After much consideration (and aided by new music from Cee Lo Green, Avril Lavigne, and Lady Gaga), we’ve decided, you know what – we don’t really care.  Plus, the damage is probably already done.  And we missed you!!

So, let’s spare ourselves the tearful reunion and get back to business.  Two months until Lady Gaga comes to Atlanta.  She tells us that we’re “Born This Way,” and we’re pretty sure that emum would say that the image of the boots purchased for said concert are not what she had in mind during childbirth.  But since we’re all celebrating Lady Gaga and new beginnings, let’s get real about April 18th at the Gwinnett Center.  What song are you (or would you) be the most excited to hear?? xoxo, elaney

emum:  ”elaney, Betta (egrandmum) and I went to hear a speaker at lunch today.  She wrote a book about 5 things to live by, things like ‘Dream Big,’ ‘Believe You Can Do Anything,’ and ‘Shoot for the Stars.’ I just kept thinking, you should be writing that book!!”

elaney:  ”Thanks, Mom, but I’m not sure how America would react to my current set of beliefs, ‘Dream in Moderation,’ ‘Appropriately Manage Your Children’s Expectations About Life,’ and ‘Find Joy in the Moment (Even if Most Moments You Want to Bang Your Head Against the Wall).’”

emum:  [giggles] “Well, I don’t know about that, but I do want you to know that one day you wake up and you’re 50.  That’s just how it happens.  And if there is something that you really want to do, you need to do it now.”

*Most likely a better source than The Bachelor, but still unyet confirmed

1.  emum asked me what LOL stood for.

2.  Both ebrothers are running in a half marathon with me next weekend.  Lots of trash talking.  Carter asking Robert if there is a “Big and Tall” division.

3.  I’ve been listening to this song on repeat for the past 3 weeks.  “All my life I’ve been good, but now, ohhhh I’m thinking what the h”

4.  I’m obsessed with my Crock Pot.

5.  I can’t get enough Brad Womack, and I hate to say it, but even with the horrible dye job, sweet little Emily won me over.

6.  I found a new great neighborhood restaurant – Nino’s on Cheshire Bridge.  You feel like a mob bust can happen at any second.

And that’s what you’ve missed!  On elaney.